Forgive our Transgressions

In Matthew 6:9 is what many of us know as the Lords Prayer.  About a month ago God brought a woman across my path who talked about how she would pray this prayer for those God would bring to her mind.  For Example “Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven, give Cami today her daily bread and forgive her transgressions as she forgives the transgressions of others, lead her not into temptation Lord and protect her from the evil for thine is the kingdom and power and glory forever and ever amen.”  I thought this was a great idea so I have been using this a lot.  I have also been using this prayer just to center myself when I feel like I am stepping in front of God during the day and trying to take over!

One small problem when I get to “forgive our transgressions as we forgive those who transgress against us”.  I can’t say it.  How can I ask for forgiveness when there is someone I refuse to forgive.  The closer I get to returning to Kansas the more apparent it becomes that I still harbor a lot of anger towards my dad.  I could go on for days for all the things I blame him for.  But it doesn't change the fact that when I made choices, I made them he didn’t.  Yes there are valid reasons for me to be angry but I can not make him apologize or change.  All I can do is change myself.  A good friend reminded me last night that all we can do is make sure we are right with Him.  There is nothing else we really have control over. 

So what is God’s will for me in this situation.  To let go of my anger and stop living in fear of a confrontation with my dad.  To trust God that He will not lead me into temptation and He will protect me from the evil one.  I must also remember that God wanted me to spend this time at my dad’s.  The urge was very clear that this visit was to be to Wichita and not Kansas City.  Therefore, I have to get on my knees at the cross and lay this grudge at His feet and trust that He will make good of the hell that WAS my life in Hillsboro.  That He will show me good in my dad and use my life to bring my dad closer to my Father.