Nearness

For years I have craved a relationship.  I have wanted a husband more than anything.  I always thought that this would fulfill me.  Thankfully God has been working on that part of me for a while now and I am finally to a point where I would like a husband and no I don’t want to be alone, but I know that He will not fulfill me or make me complete.  When talking to God about this subject I would always cry out to Him and ask why He couldn’t just be enough.  And I never got an answer, but I did have an interesting experience today.

Here in the Portland area I have a few friends who have found their current husbands, or possible to be husbands on EHarmony.  So with this new change in my life I have been praying to see if that is the route god wants me to take.  As I was walking today and talking to God about this I came to the realization that I just want to be with God right now.  All I want for this next month is to lean into the arms of the Father and rest in His warm embrace. 

This past year and a half I have been carried by Him but some how this is different.  I won’t be in His arms because I can not go it alone.  Instead I want to be in His arms just to feel the nearness of the King of Kings and to learn more about Him.  Cause in the end that is all that really matters.  I am sure in a month or so I will be ready to start dating, but now I am going to pursue the lover of my soul!