This week has been a whirl of emotions that fluctuate so rapidly, there is no way I could blog them all. But the reoccurring theme has been my pride. In the midst of these emotions, I am finding that anything I am fearful us has to do with my pride. I have asked God to remove this and in His usual fashion, He is giving me lots of times to practice!
As I was reading “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers this evening, I began to think of the Phoenix (If you want to read it click here: Daily Devotional) . Yes I am talking about the fictional bird. What a great representation of what Salvation, then Sanctification really is. The Phoenix grows old, then dies in a ball of flames (or that is how Harry Potter says it happens!) Then from the ashes (what is left of the old life) a new life is reborn and the cycle starts all over again. In comparison, when we are brought into salvation with Christ we are also consumed, our old life turned to ashes, and out of that we rise a new creation. However, unlike the Phoenix, I have a choice in all of this. When I am reborn out of the ashes I must allow Christ to continually remove the presence of the ashes from my life. This is what I struggle with letting go who I was to become who I am in Him. Oswald puts it like this “Am I willing to be "myself," and nothing more - no friends, no father, no brother, no self-interest - simply ready for death?” And I ask myself…am I? Am I really willing to give up everything to let God work His way completely in my life?
I often reply in haste, of course I would, until I stand before Christ and face a decision. Whether it be a movie I used to like, or simply my fear of the unknown; I often find myself wanting to cling to that instead of letting Him take it away. In the light of His cross I should forsake the things about me that conform me to the ways of the world. In so doing Christ can then transform and renew the patterns of my mind. There is such joy in letting go, but an angst that I can not describe.