Thursday, November 15, 2012

Another year gone by

Tomorrow I turn 37 and I will officially be in my late 30’s.  As this day has approached I have reflected on the changes I have made this year.  This year has been one of those sign post years.  20 years from now, I will look back and say this is where it all changed.  Of all the changes I have made in my life, my choice to stop running last fall was the biggest. 

Last fall, God had just closed the door on my plans to move to India.  I was confused, hurt and lost in a fog.  I retraced my steps asking over and over if I had missed something?  Certain in my heart that I had walked the path God had laid before me.  I had spent the last year preparing to move over seas.  I had sold most of my furniture, moved in with a friend and her husband and sold my car.  So now what?

I struggled with that question all year, now what?  As I moved into my own apartment in January, I knew I needed to put down roots and stop running away.  Each day was a struggle.  There was no ministry to pour into, nothing exciting to look forward to, and each day blended into the next.

As each day slipped past a peace began to settle into my heart.  This is what life is about.  The little things.  Laughter with my best friend, or a smile from her sweet baby.  Time on the golf course with my family and loving on my niece and my nephew.  Slowly the truth began to emerge, a slow steady process of God changing my heart to yearn more of Him over anything else.

After all that is what life is all about.  The day to day relationships, the sharp edges of others rubbing against my pride and selfishness, whittling me away until all that is left is His image.  It really is that simple.  I finally realized I have to stop waiting for my life to start and realize that my life is slipping away.

I look forward to waking up tomorrow and to the promise of a new year.  More time to get to know Christ and feed into the lives around me.  Each day I wake up with the promise of His love and new mercies.  What more could I ever ask for?