What do you think of when you think of Thanksgiving day? The turkey, the cranberries (yumminess), friends, family. Holidays for me are really nothing special. I always long for them to be something but they are never what I envision. However, This Thanksgiving was one of the best I have ever experienced. It was a very low key day spent with a family that I have grown to love as my own, and they love me in return. I believe what made this Thanksgiving so much better is the lesson God has recently taught me. The lesson of forgiving yourself and allowing yourself to feel loved.
Several months ago God revealed a truth to me that was life altering. My fear of rejection kept me from living my life but also kept me from allowing others to love me. In the Gospels Jesus says that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. I have no problem loving others and showing compassion to those who don't often deserve it. However, I do not give myself the same grace and compassion. Love is a two way street, you can only love as much as you feel loved. God shows me the beauty He has created in others but also the beauty He has created in side of me. But my fear of being hurt kept me from truly seeing all that God was showing me. Those who know me well know that I struggle with a low self esteem. 5 years ago when I came to Christ I couldn't even look myself in the eyes without complete disgust. Today is another story.
So this Thanksgiving I am thanking God for His grace and mercy. Without it yesterday would have just been another day. Instead I spent the day surrounded by those who love me and I could truly enjoy their love. What an amazing God HE truly is!