Sunday, July 8, 2012

The day I stood up to myself

I am my worst enemy.  Continually I fight the voice in my head who screams labels at me.  One day I stood up to that voice, and I have found freedom!

It was the Saturday before I was to share some of my story in front of my church.  The voice was screaming at me that I was not enough and once they found out the truth I would no longer be accepted.  I called friends for prayer and fell to my knees under the onslaught of guilt and shame, my heart and soul gushing my life out before me. 

At the foot of the Cross he began to fill me with truth to help me stand.  As I began to gaze upwards and start to stand I found the strength to embrace the truth of who He has made me to be.  I began to praise God and was once again upright in His love.

Then it came.  That word, my kryptonite. 


I stood motionless, unable to move.  Then it happened I made a choice.  I choose to step out from under the shame and guilt and embrace the truths in my heart.  I met my eyes in the mirror and through the flood of tears I spoke truth to my heart.

“You are saved by grace”

“You are a new Creation in Christ”

“A Daughter of the King of Kings, precious in His sight.”

“Beloved, held”

“You are not a whore”

It worked, my legs found their strength and I stood upright in His presence.  Rivers of the Savior’s love washed my soul and my heart was made new. 

All I did was make a choice.  I choose to accept His truth over the lies in my head.  Is there a word that cuts through your very soul?  Have you ever stood up to the lie?  What stops you?