I am moving on and realizing that this has to be a conscious decision. Since the age of 10 I have been in survival mode. Worried about the future but all I can focus on is this moment. Constantly sprinting forward running from the past that haunts me, striving for a future that was always just out of my grasp.
I have decided it is time that I “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1. This race will require perseverance and the prize is not the hill tops I used to desperately seek after. Instead the prize is to grower closer to Christ every day and enjoy His presence in the monotony of life.
When I started this journey, I remember one day laying down on my bed sobbing for God to help me understand. He gave me a story I call my safe place. Many times I have felt the last sentence resonate with me. Never more than I do now.
I whispered “I’m scared”. He said “I know, its okay, take my hand and I will show you the way”.