Yesterday as I was mulling around in my bored melancholy, I came up with a mental picture of how I feel right now. I feel as if I am spinning my tires in a swamp of mud going nowhere, but I refuse to take my foot off the gas. Why is that, is it really what God wants for me to be doing to try and get out myself? Or should I let my foot off the gas and see what happens. It didn’t feel like either answer was the right one, so I slept on it. This morning my pastor continued his series on Galatians, it is titled Pressures Off (fitting huh!!). Something he said was like one of those aha moments, and I realized duh, I shouldn't be driving at all!!
One of the areas I keep trying to take the lead on is my finances. I have done a horrible job with my money in the past and while God has taught me how to not make money and things my idol, there are consequences to my actions nonetheless. I have wracked my brain for months trying to come up with a solution to make some extra money, to put towards bills or even go out for a movie, to no avail. I am still trapped in the same stinking mud puddle and there is no way for me to get out quickly. This is killing me, I feel like God has this life for me that if I had wizened up about my finances sooner I would be on my way already. But no, I had to be my stubborn old self and refuse to listen to that small voice. Oh if only…
So what do I do now, except fall on my knees and wait patiently at the foot of the cross for Him to move. I know that He will, and I trust that He will, I am just tired of waiting. I am an action girl, I am a get out there and get it done. Which is probably why God is making me wait, so that I know beyond a doubt it is Him. Lord I pray for your patience that through me you will move mountains.
No comments:
Post a Comment