“All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do NOTHING?” Edmund Burke

I hate it when you can feel God urging you forward and you don’t know where to go.  All He says is to move and I don’t know which way to go.  It all seems so overwhelming, where do I start.

This summer God brought to my heart the verse Psalm 82:3-4, so I actually painted it on to something and I now read it everyday.  “Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.  Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”  Every day I read this verse and feel so incompetent to do what He is asking me to do.  I know that if I follow His leading great amazing things will happen.  Things I could never accomplish on my own.  Yet I stand motionless, afraid to move forward.  Then I bargain with God.  God I don’t want to do this alone…He has given me a cheerleader and support friend.  God, I don’t know what it takes to get it done…He has shown me the steps.  God I just can’t do this, I am incapable, and He whispers “I know, but I AM is capable.”  So this is where I am at.

All the times I have willingly laid my life at His feet and done what He has asked me to do.  It has all been leading to this!  Yet I stand here in fear, afraid of rejection, people laughing at me.  People just not getting it.  I am afraid of hemorrhaging all over ever where, to the point that people won’t even say hi to me for fear of what she might say.  But I refuse my life to be worth not.  I refuse to stand before my maker and know in my heart that there was more He called me to do, but I was unwilling to sacrifice my comfort, after what He gave up for me.

So I am stepping out of the boat, both feet on the water, eyes on Him.  All I ask of you, is to pray for me, hold me accountable to the word of God and listen to my heart as I bleed for those who are unable to speak for themselves.

Did you know that every minute in this world a child is sold into slavery?  Did you know that the US is not exempt from human trafficking?  Did you know that I live less than 5 miles from the 3rd largest city in the United States for Human Trafficking?

If you want to know more, or how you can help, stay tuned to this blog and I will begin discussing different organizations and how they are fighting against Human trafficking.

“All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do NOTHING?” Edmund Burke.  Will you stand with me, and just do something??

How a Seed Grows

It always amazes me how something can grow so quickly.  How one day it is a small seed planted in your heart by God and the next you notice it is this huge tree that is ready to bear fruit.  I wish I could figure out when it started, but really this all started the day God decided I would be conceived.  What you ask?  The purpose of my life, what I have been placed on this earth for.  To bring freedom to those imprisoned by chains of slavery and oppression.

Psalm 82:3-4 says “Defend the cause of the week and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.  Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”  In June I put this verse up on my wall at home, not really sure why it spoke to me so.  Then the next few months God began to build a fire in my heart that is now to a point that I can’t not do something.  Several weeks ago I was reading the start up story for a an organization called Love146 and he gave a statistic that blew me out of my stagnation. Every year 12 million people world wide are sold into slavery.  If you break this down, it comes out to two children every minute!  WHAT, Wait a minute!  TWO CHILDREN EVERY MINUTE.  In this world are sold, kidnapped, manipulated, shamed quilted, whatever into lives of slavery.  Some into labor, most into the sex industry.  Want to know something else?  America has a big a problem as every other country.  In fact, Portland, the city I like to call home, is the 3rd largest in the nation.  As I read these facts, my heart crumbled into a million pieces.  How could I do something, How could I not.

I prayed and prayed and looked and looked for a place to serve to help.  Cause I don’t have any money to give.  But god made it clear to me where the greatest need is.  Until we all become aware of this problem it will exist and solutions will not.  So I can not be quite, I refuse to be quite any longer.  I hope this makes you uncomfortable and I hope it urges you too help.  Pay attention to my blog in the coming days and I will start giving you ways to help!

The Me I Want to Be

I started reading a new book tonight.  In fact about ten minutes ago and I am already feeling God change me through it!  The month of august was a hard one for me.  Several events that rocked my world and where I thought I was emotionally!  Lets just say, I have some issues still and I definitely need some practice when it comes to trusting good men.

Anyway the question this book asked really touched the heart of where I have been and where I feel God moving me.

In determining where you are spiritually, you should ask your self two questions.  1)Am I growing more easily discouraged these days? 2) Am I growing more easily irritated these days?  Then it goes on to say “At the core of a flourishing soul are the love of God and the peace of God.  If peace is growing in me, I am less easily discouraged.  If love is growing, I am less easily irritated.”  Wow, what an eye opener to have a measure of where I am with God that has NOTHING to do with what task I may have or may not have completed.  Brilliant!

So now to be honest, I have not been growing in love and peace: for a really, really long time.  I have been trudging along, biding my time until God blesses me with the life I want.  Little did I know God wants that for me too, and He has been whispering for me to move for a while.  I just have not liked the direction He was moving me.  This weekend, I went to the beach hoping for one of those aha moments with God.  And I had one, just not what I was looking for.  God opened the eyes of my heart to see that He just wants me to move right now.  He has laid a passion on my heart and for fear of going the wrong way, I have patiently waited (like a good Christian does right?…wrong!)  Instead He has been presenting me with options and opportunities, they just weren’t big enough for what I envision.  But the big dream that God has placed in my heart won’t happen if I don’t start to move, regardless of the direction I go in! 

The funny thing is, He doesn’t really want me to move any certain direction.  All He wants is for me to move towards Him so that His peace and love flow out of me so naturally that I can’t help but accomplish what He has.  So it no longer has to do with me being in the right place at the right time.  It is only about my dance with the Father shows the world just how amazing He truly is.

Click here to see The book I am reading.