This is truly an interesting journey I am on right now. Definetly new ground that I have never been on. Of course I am highly emotional but this feeling that something is pressing will not leave me. I feel as if I CANNOT rest…even though He keeps reminding me that resting is exactly what I am to be doing.
It is amazing the things I have found to distract me and keep me busy. An insatiable need to eat, the urge to buy everything new and decorate beyond my means, and the worst the spending time with long lost friends. (JK on the last one) On Sunday after church I went to eat lunch with the crew at Taco Del Mar. This is something that periodically I would take the girls to, for two reasons. One I could hang out with my friends and two It would keep the girls entertained for about two hours! But as I sat there, I felt myself getting antsy, like I had somewhere else to be. But when I got home all I wanted to do was lay in bed.
I am not sure why I am recounting this, all I know is that I don’t know how I feel; and it is driving me NUTS! I feel as if I am starving then, want to throw up once I eat. My muscles ache for movement, but lack the energy to do anything. Lets not even get onto my will power, it seems to have left me. I was just talking to a friend about the constant up and down of my emotions and she asked if maybe there was something wrong with my hormones…I wish! Unfortunately this has been the state of my emotions since I reached puberty. If you are reading this and would like to pray for me, please pray that God helps me to find balance in my emotions, to enjoy His joy and happiness for more than a 24 hour period would be amazing!
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