God has really been moving in my heart this weekend. I spent some time with friend who happens to struggle with many things that I do. As she was sharing her struggle, my heart screamed “I do the same thing”! I have a hard time finishing anything!! There are times that God puts a passion in my heart, I don’t respond quick enough, and the passion slowly ebbs. Usually my passion fails because I dont think He is big enough, or I begin to question when the road gets hard. One of my favorite quotes right now is by George Lucas. “You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don’t have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you’ll stop at the first giant hurdle.”
The thing I am most passionate about is prayer. I feel strongly that we should be a people who pray and seek His face, especially in the world we currently live in. Yet in my down time, I don’t pray. Well I don’t take time out of my life to pray. I am crazy good at the bullet prayers, and I even throw in a few praises here and there(that way I feel even better about myself)! This past week as I have started those bullet prayers, the Holy Spirit has shut my mouth, my mind everything. I have no words and I feel heavily convicted that I can’t even stop what I am doing for two seconds to pray for this! But I have yet to really head that conviction so now He is making it blatantly clear
When I came home today this is what I read. “So here’s what I think: The best thing you can do right now is to finish what you started last year and not let those good intentions grow stale. Your heart’s been in the right place all along. You’ve got what it takes to finish it up, so go to it. Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can’t. The heart regulates the hands.” 2 Cor. 8:10-13 (The Message) Ok, ok I get it, He has gifted me with a heart and a desire for prayer and I need to start using it as the sword that it is. So if you think of it, keep me accountable, ask me how my prayer time is, and if you want join me!
the spiritual gift of prayer is very powerful. satan loves to distract us from our spiritual gifts with lots of other very worthy things.
ReplyDeletesometimes we get wrapped up in the 'recording' ... or the ability to 'record,' in some way ... or in the 'measuring' of what we do with what we have. i'm not so sure God always does that.
i would think (though i am not God, WHEW!) that living in an attitude of prayer is critical.
aside from that, have you ever read the book, "What Happens When Women Pray" by evelyn christenson? great book.
i think prayer is a tricky thing in that, as humans, we have this human need to determine the value of what we have done. ie - the value of prayer is in the results of prayer. not sure God sees it that way. God values our time with Him, but our time w/ Him does not manipulate Him to fill our human value meter.
not sure if that makes sense.
i just wonder sometimes ... that i need to strip away all preconceptive thought about how something needs to be done so that i can allow God to show me what/how He desires me to do.
i'm not always really good at all that ... and i'm kinda rambling thoughts here.
you might also read some of ruth graham's works - her prayer life was amazing for her husband billy graham and their kids.
but when it's all said and done, it's really just you and the Holy Spirit - when He convicts, that alone is when we are guilty; when He directs, that alone is when we should move.
seems so simple ... now why do i struggle so?! :)