I MUST

Living in the Pacific Northwest is a mixed bag.  You get the horrible ugly days, the snow, the ice, the rain (in bucket loads).  But days like today are why I love this place.  I was driving home today marveling in the colors that glisten in the afternoon sun.  Delighting in the multitude of flowers that seem to have appeared over night.  And starring in awe at the indescribable blue of the sky.  In that moment I had a revelation about my walk with Him.

The winter in the NW is dark gloomy and long.  It is then prolonged by the first part of spring which the sky begins to dump unbelievable amounts of rain on the land.  During this time you can go days, weeks, even months without seeing the sun.  As the season progresses your mood gets darker and darker, until you don’t think you will ever see the sun again.  Then that first ray bursts through the cloud cover and everyone runs outside to bask in the warmth of the sun.  You can feel your mood improve, within minutes you are so happy you feel like you could run a marathon you have so much energy.  Inevitably there will be another rainy yucky day, but as you are reviling in the sun, you push all those thoughts to the back of your mind.  Then that day arrives and you no longer have the perseverance to wait for what is coming, but you cling to the hope of what is to come!  Summer!!!

This is a lot like our walk with Christ.  When He is taking me through the valleys my mood gets darker and darker until I begin to believe I will never reach the mountain top.  Then that day arrives and I feel His light burst through my depression.  I am so passionate about Him I could chase Him forever, and spend my time dancing in that Glorious light!  The first few times I didn’t think those dark days would come again, I assumed that I had reached the end and Christ was done working on me.  Man was I totally blindsided when He started working on me again.  My passion faded, I began to drag my feet in my time with Him until it was no more and I begged for Him to come just so the end would be here.  While at Saint Child I remember thinking my time there would never end and I would cling to the hope of what was to come.  When I moved out I danced on that mountain top with trepidation, worried about what came next.  The dark days did come and I longed for heaven but God has done something in my heart this week.  As I dance on the mountain top it isn’t with trepidation of the dark days, but more with the courage of a warrior.  I can feel my heart singing to my creator to make me more like Him.  I have this passion in my heart that isn’t a blazing fire that has just been lit, but a roaring fire which will last as long as I turn to him for fuel.  So with that said here is that Passion that burns inside of me.  I MUST tell the next generation of His love, mercy and grace.  I want them to know the truth of Christ and they will ONLY see that by Him living through me!