Saturday, August 24, 2013

Trauma or Depression.

Am I running away from God?  This question ran through my mind the other day as the rain poured down for the ten thousandth time since I moved here. 

You see I hate rain!  Yes I know it is necessary, but too much and I want to crawl the walls it makes me so crazy.  Being outside, feeling the sun on my skin and being amongst nature is how I draw near to God.

I dislike rain so much I moved away from Portland to get away from it!  But there is also the fact that the rain means nothing has died yet.  Which in turn makes my allergies and my asthma uncontrollable.

  I can’t run, I can’t hike, I can’t go outside and explore.  I have to stay indoors. 

I am forced to stay in my house this weekend so that my doctor can do allergy testing on Monday.  It is beautiful outside (or so it looks from my window).  The sun is shining, the sky is blue, birds are singing.  Of course my imagination doesn’t take into account the heat and the humidity. 

So I have a choice.  I can look on this weekend as a punishment from God or see the reality that He is answering my prayer.

In Portland, I begged Him to show me why I never felt well, but I refused to admit that my asthma was out of control.  In Nashville, I have no choice but to face that reality.  Something here is literally trying to kill me! 

So even though I feel like this:

I am choosing to praise God and focus on this:

He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,

upright and just is he.  Deut. 32:4

Because He is working a miracle in me as I type. 

How about you?  Ever been in a situation that was hard, but later found out that God was working a miracle?  Share it with me!

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