I am often baffled by God and the path He takes me on. Recently I felt Him leading in the direction of spending time with my Father. I was excited to get to see my brother and sister and their families and even see my dad for a little bit. After I booked the plane tickets the realization of what I had done sunk into my heart and the worry started. I have now planned a four day time frame where 3 of the four nights I will be sleeping under my father’s roof. That house brings back such horrible memories and awful times. Now tonight I have a friend counseling me not to stay there, but it feels wrong to not. Is that the Holy Spirit or my desire to make everyone happy. Could I really tell my Dad that I love him but I don't trust him, after I feel like I have come so far with him, finally told him that he cant drink around me. Could I really take it that far? What would that accomplish? Could that be the catalyst that sends him running to the cross, or that drives a wedge between him and Christ forever.
What if this is my chance to share the gospel with him but instead I allow my fear and mistrust to drive me from the circumstance? But what if this is a trap satan has laid for me and the Spirit is trying to lead me in the other direction? Why are these things never clear. All I can say is your will Lord not mine be done. Show me what you want me to do and open a path for me and close the doors for the other path.
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