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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Fleeting Moments

Have you ever had one of those days that you just don’t feel right?  When people ask how you are doing, you respond great.  But somewhere deep inside you are just unsettled. 

For all intents and purposes I am doing great.   God is good and I know and trust He has a plan for me, so what is unsettling me?  Is it the unknown that is throwing me?  The dirty kitchen that is throwing me back into old patterns?  The stress of boss who has checked out on me but accuses me of being a short-timer?  Or the fact that come March 1st I have NO clue where I will be living or who I will be living with.  I could continue, but I think I see a pattern here.  I am worrying about things I can’t control.  Wow there is something new, NOT!

Why is it when I trust God to have a plan for me, I can’t rest in that trust.  I went on a walk this afternoon after work and let God do a little talking to me.  Some of it was about a promise that I felt Him make to me two years ago.  In that promise He revealed His time frame to me of two years.  Now that His time frame is almost up, I am tired of waiting.  Its like the last 30 minutes of my tattoo (it took 3 hours).  I had endured the pain for 2 1/2 hours but I had run out of patience, I was done.  Now that I am at the end of my race here at the house I am just done!

I have a month left and we have four girls here.  Four precious girls that fill the house with giggles and fun.  I missed that.  I find myself falling in love with each one of them, and being grateful for the privilege to know them.  But my heart breaks that I only have a month with them.  I worry that the next RA won’t care about them the way I do.  I worry that God isn’t big enough to help me through this!  Silly girl, I know!

When I turned the corner around my house after my walk, God’s promise to me was spread across the sky.  A beautiful sunset to remind me that every day ends but tomorrow will begin.  My time here at the house has to end some time and it is God’s timing for me to leave soon.  But tomorrow will come and He will be with me tomorrow.

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My time with these girls is slipping away, but the joy and the memories will always remain.

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