That is the question…for most of my life right now. I am once again at a crossroads of sort. Another one of those paths God has taken me down. Will the road continue this direction or does he have a sharp right or left in mind. Part of me hopes that he plans on switching courses, I am not sure this is what I want to do the rest of my life. Days like today when I am having to give up my life and what I want to serve Him makes me wonder. Shouldn't it be willing and not such a struggle.
The only thing I know for sure is that I love this ministry and I love serving God. I am just tired. Tired of the eternal conflict, the unknowns that are more constant than my daily bread, tired of not having a partner to lean on when the road gets rough. Why does it always come back to that. Is it really any easier with a partner or just more complicated…the grass is always greener right!
I do know that I love Saint Child, saving babies and changing lives and I want to be a part of it. But I am not sure living with these girls is what God has called me to. I feel so selfish with my time, and am constantly trying to hold onto who I am and it just doesn't fit! Or does it and I just need to let go. Ugh…I hate this place and it feels like I have been here a lot in the past two years. Will ever be out of this place or is it constant in the walk with God!
A bright point …my picture of the day!
My beautiful niece…I miss her soo much!
Cutie Pie! You need to do what is best for you!!
ReplyDeleteI most definitely am!!
ReplyDelete